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3 entries this month
What A Wonderful Life10:01 Feb 28 2009
Times Read: 656
Ok, so this was the MOST AMAZING week I have ever had. I got dumped my this trucker I was dating on Valentine's Day (of course) and was feeling really down in the dumps about everything. My exboyfriend Mark came over and was trying to cheer me up. He kept telling me things like "he'll be back, dont worry" but the thing is, while he kept comforting me, I realized that I didn't want that guy to come back, that everything I wanted I had lost in Mark. After about 3 days of him and my young nephews keeping me company and making sure I was never alone, I took this big leap for me, I made a first move. After 31 yrs, I, a shy about this kind of thing gal, kissed a man first. I just kissed him out of nowhere and things just felt perfect and fell right back into the good place they were in before I had managed to screw them up over an age difference (maybe I will explain later). Well, we decided that before we could make any more mistakes, or let anyone else talk us out of it, we were going to get married. Sooooo as of Tuesday, February 24th, of 2009 I became Mrs. Mark Vick!!!! After what I went through with my divorce, I had swore I would never get married again, but when you meet your soulmate you have no choice but to just do what is right and what feels right. Do what your heart tells you and eventually, you will be the happiest person ever on the planet. That is where I am in my life, and on top of all that, we are once again trying to have a child. We have had 3 miscarriages (thanks to my old and failing body) but we just want to try one more time. He is perfectly content to just be a stepfather to my 4 wonderful children but I feel that he deserves one of his own. He is such a wonderful guy and so great with children that I can't let this pass him by without being certain that it isn't going to happen.
Truckers Suck!
17:16 Feb 12 2009
Times Read: 659
Ok, so I love my job. If I keep telling myself that enough I might even start to believe it with all my black little heart. But when I go out of my way to be nice to everyone just to hear bitching and moaning about how they wish this, or want that, it is a little on the discouraging side. Then to top it all off, one of the jerks gave me this nasty stomach flu and I have been having to work thru it. Hello? Where is my sick time? Nope, shorthanded, got to keep going. No one to replace me. Well, I know I am irreplacable but really people!! Hard to do my job when I keep vomitting!! Hire someone already!!
Im An Idiot!
14:59 Feb 02 2009
Times Read: 666
I don't know how to properly put this down and make it sound completely intelligent and not like a bunch of ramblings from a totally messed up head (which I have) but I am going to try.
I met ric thru a mutual friend in Nov. of 07 and by thanksgiving we were speaking on the phone. I was married at the time and also having an illicit relationship with someone else, whom I knew would not work out. He seemed to care and listen to how I felt, give what emotional support I needed. He knew exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it and that is how, i believe, he snared me. He was always very good at the emotions. By dec.my friend and i had mutually decided to call of the "benefits" part of our relationship and ric stepped in to fill his shoes in a manner of speaking. He just seemed to take up more and more of my day.He was always around it seemed. I remember we even stayed up til midnight together on new years (07/08). We stayed on the phone most of that night and I remember how special i felt since even my husband hadn't taken the time to wish me happy new year. When it came time for me to leave my husband and move out of state (jan. 08) he pressed me to move to him. I felt that since we hadn't met yet that wasn't the best idea so I moved in with my brother. Things went downhill from there. All of our conversations after that were basically him just pressing me for cybersex and telling me to stay away from my brothers roommate because he was bad news. The truth of that, now that I can see it, is just that Ric felt threatened by this young (23) man who was there in the house with me where ric couldn't control me. He became harder and harder to get ahold of and we just stopped talking. In April of 08 I called him one last time, to tell him that I was engaged to the roommate and that I was sorry, but that real life took precedence over the internet. That was the last time I spoke to him. Until the day I read LadyChordewa's journal entry and found out what was going on, what had been going on that entire time I felt ashamed at having been so weak as to have "cheated" on Ric, and chosen another man over him when he couldn't even admit online that I was "the one" when in fact I was just one of dozens. Just goes to show you that you can't trust anyone, especially anyone male.
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COMMENTS
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Sinora
19:23 Mar 01 2009
Omg....I'm so happy for you *big squishy hugs and happy dance*....just....wow...and Godbless you both.
LadyChordewa
00:03 Mar 03 2009